Sunday, 12 March 2017


This photo was taken in July 2015, when I look at it I see myself at a time in my life where I was at my happiest. I was genuinely so happy with everything. I loved life, I was so confident, carefree and I was just glowing. I have so many happy memories around this time.

The past 18 months have been a complete and utter rollercoaster, with extreme highs and lows, the past 3 in particular have been the hardest months of my life so far. I'm not sure whether I'll ever heal from whats happened and if I'm being honest I doubt I'll ever be able to speak about it (sorry to be one of 'those' people!) I'm sad. I'm broken. I'm lonely. I feel lost with life. I'm not in a very good place if I'm being entirely honest. But do you know what? That's ok because I know I won't always feel this sad forever and I'm finally learning to accept that it's ok not to be ok.

I'm one of these people who would always try and put up a front. I've always struggled to show and accept my emotions, it's such a bad trait to have but the thought of anyone see me cry and be upset completely terrifies me. I don't know why but I see it as weakness and vulnerability when in actual fact it's the complete opposite. Being vulnerable opens us up and lets us feel so many emotions. It makes us stronger. I'm glad I've accepted and felt these emotions that I've never felt before because I have learned so much about myself in such a short amount of time already and I'm proud of that. It means I can finally start moving forward with my life. I am such a strong believer in fate and that everything happens for a reason, no matter how good or bad that may be. I believe that our paths are supposed to cross with certain people in our lifetime, they may not always stay in our lives but they can leave imprints on our hearts forever and teach us extremely valuable life lessons. Life is all about experiences, making mistakes and learning from them. Some moments are not always going to be happy and they won't be easy but we need to experience and feel pain and heartache so we can learn, grow and become stronger.  It's ok to cry for our losses, it's ok to mourn the dreams that didn't pan out and it's ok to hurt and not have things figured out.

I know this isn't going to be an easy journey so I'm going to take each day as it comes, trust in that what's meant to be will be and with the unconditional love of my family and friends I know I'll get through it. 


1 comment

  1. I'm sending you so much love!! I've experienced times where I've been so lost and felt alone but I promise you it will always get better (I used to really dislike it when people said this to me and now I have turned in to "that person" but I promise it is true there really is a light at the end of the tunnel) Always here if you need to have a chat. Wishing you all the best you deserve it

    X Emma |


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